Where the hell have I been???

Nowhere...I just forgot my GD password.  Smart.  So, I reset it & wrote it down.  Smarter!  I can't really believe I haven't been on here in so long.  Life just went on day-by-day & this didn't, but I'm back damn it!  Like nothing's happened since my last post.  I mean holidays, work, etc. but not a lot.  The biggest thing that happened is that my very best friend in the whole wide world moved to Indianapolis to live with her sister.  That was at the end of January.  I drove up with her (which is a whole other story!) & then flew back home.  I miss her so much!  I'm one of those losers that, now since she's gone, has no friend.  Ok, I'm "friends" w/some of my co-workers, & we go out after work for a beer sometimes, but that's really it.  It sucks!  Like I've went into a depression over it.  Not so bad that I need medication (I probably really do, but who doesn't) but I just feel more sad.  I go to work, I go home.  Any shopping I do is by myself or with Trace & one can only handle going w/a 2yr old so many times.  He doesn't offer much in the way of opinions on how a pair of shoes goes with an outfit!  Shelley's birthday is 4/30 & mine is 5/1 so we've always celebrated together so even birthday sucked this year.  I love my husband & he took me out to dinner & got me gifts, but it still just wasn't the same.  I'm happy for Shelley though.  She really needed the change & is doing well there...without me.  I think that's another part that hurts is realizing I wasn't enough for her.  With Trace & my wacky night-shift work schedule, it wasn't easy to go see her as much so there was a void there for her & she felt alone.  Just a few years back, she & I were roomies, so we were together all the time...then I had to go get married & have a kid & shit.  WTF was I thinking?  She & I used to always kid we should just have babies & sex w/men & continue to live together b/c we were best for each other.  Other than that, I need to lose some weight...nothing new there.  Trace amazes me everyday.  He's so smart.  Putting sentences together, getting the meaning behind things, figuring out how things work.  I love him so much & he's so damn cute.  He is the one true light in my life!  He's also a little shithead...but, hey, he's 2...comes w/the territory.  My husband is wonderful & I give him so much grief.  I can be such a snappy bitch to him.  We just took a very nice trip to Tennessee to his niece's wedding.  It was great...we went to Nashville to the Ryman Auditorium & the Country Music Hall of Fame.  Then we went to Knoxville to the wedding.  Then back to Nashville for a day.  It was a long drive....very pretty, though.  When we go back, we will fly.  Now that I've driven it, I'm over the "sightseeing."  Well, that covers the Mommy-Wife part of the show.  Now on to the Nurse part.  I'm really excited about work.  We have hired a new night manager & she will be precepting w/me for 6 shifts.  She's a really nice, experienced RN, but has no pedi experience so they're putting her on the floor to get her in the groove.  I just think it's pretty awesome that my current (the day manager) picked me to do this.  I feel like it really says alot about how she perceived my work ethic, skill, etc.  Then after I'm done w/that, I will be orienting to the charge RN position.  Sometime I wonder "what am I thinking??" but it's the only way to grow & if I ever leave my hospital system or even transfer to another facility, it will look good on my resume.  I do need to get a little more involved w/a couple of committees & do some things for myself professionally to develop & be able to move into the charge RN role, but I'll have time to do it & some great support from my managers.  So good things lie ahead. 
Love, Peace & Chickengrease y'all!

Me time

Do you enjoy that time of the night when everyone is in bed & you're up alone?  I love it!  Don't get me wrong, I also love going to bed w/my husband so we can cuddle up together & drift off to sleep {or otherwise}, but some nights, I just need to be alone.  After the past couple of days, it's just that kind of night.  We got home from Shiner about 9:30pm Sunday, gave Trace a bath & put him to bed; then we went to bed.  Then Monday, my MIL called & said her & her husband were coming into town on Tuesday.  Now, he had already talked to her Sunday on our drive back home so we anticipated they were coming b/c she mentioned it...the Monday phone call was just confirmation.  So, since we already thought she was coming here, as soon as Alvin got home, I made him keep Trace in his bedroom to play b/c I needed to sweep, mop & vacuum the LR, kitchen & DR.  While he was in there, I made him get all the 3-6mth baby clothes out of the drawers & closet so we could properly put away all the 12mth stuff instead of cramming it into the drawers.  Then I also cleaned the bathroom.  Sometime in between the kitchen cleaning & bathroom cleaning, I also cooked dinner.  Finally, bathed the boy & put him to bed.  Tuesday {before MIL arrived} was spent cleaning up my room w/some more vacuuming of the hall & bedrooms & sorting laundry.  Oh, & I had to shower, go to Wal-Mart, go to Trace's school to register & pay for the next term, & chase him around the house while I was trying to finish things up & then dress for dinner.  It's a good thingI wasn't "expected" to cook that night...wasn't going to happen.  We went to dinner & got home to bathe Trace & put him to bed...then we all went to bed although I did stay up about 20 minutes after everyone was down.  Today, me & the Monkey got up about 9:30, I fed him breakfast & got him dressed & to school.  MIL & her husband didn't get up until about the time I was ready to leave, about 10:40.  When I got back, they left to go back home shortly after that...were gone by 11.  Ahhh...peace & quiet!  I put my pj's back on & played on the computer a while.  Then I ate & took a nap.  I got up about 3 & the race was on again.  Shower, put our sheets in the wash, back to Wal-Mart to return some items & buy something to eat for the nights dinner, then pick up Trace from school.  Get home...start dinner & put away clean dishes.  Alvin took Trace to the park to play so I could focus on getting dinner cooked.  I'm always paranoid of him being around the stove when I cook.  Probably due to seeing too many accidental burnings on kids at work. I switched out laundry from the washer to the dryer & put another load in the washer.  Dinner was ready @ 7, the boys got home just in time so we ate.  Trace's bath was next, then cleaning up the kitchen, & loading the dishwasher.  I put the boy to bed & Alvin went early too.  So, I'm enjoying my peace & quiet again.  The difference between earlier today & now is that earlier, I was glad to be the only one here.  Right now, my heart is warmed by the fact that my husband & son are peacefully sleeping.  They are content & happy & taken care of & I did it!  It's because of all the things above that I've been doing the past couple of days.  There's a satisfaction settled in me over all that I've done.  Do I deserve a pat on the back or something?  No, b/c these are the things a woman does as a mommy & a wife.  But, I think I do deserve to reflect on & be proud of it.  It is my peace & quiet...my me time. 

Feeling at home

So, a little backstory.  In Feb. 2009, my husband's mom got married & moved to Austin.  She kept her house near us b/c she just wasn't ready to sell it & when her & her husband come to visit family, they have somewhere to stay.  We were living in a 2br, 780 sq. ft. mobile home (which we owned, but rented the land)  & totally needed more space.  Then Trace was born & we were even more desperate for space & I constantly complained about the lack of space, etc.  Big solution to several issues...in Oct. 2009, we moved into my MIL house & moved our mobile home to our property out of town.  Her house is now not sitting empty, we have more space, we only pay utilities, we're saving for our own home, we will be way more comfortable in the mobile home than in our 28ft RV when we go to the country.  The negatives...it's her house.  All our furnishings/household items stayed in the mobile home.  We brought our clothes, personal belongings & Trace's crib to his mom's house.  I just don't feel at home there...NOTHING is mine.  I'm comfortable there & live life as normal.  But it's just not "home."  Anyhow...as I type this, I am sitting in MY home on MY property in the country AND I LOVE IT!  This is my first time back since the mobile home has been set up on the property.  We got here late Friday night, about 11:45 & the minute I walked in the door, I felt like I was at home.  I was telling Trace how this was his first home & he lived here when he was a little bitty baby.  I told my husband I missed our little home.  He asked why?  I said because it's OURS! 

First Post

My name is Michael (pronounced Michelle).  I'm a pediatric RN in TX.  I have a 15month old son, Trace.  My husband, Alvin, & I have been married a little over 2yrs but together 8yrs.  So, here I am @ work on a break from my RN duties starting this blog.  I've never done this before...I'm learning as I go.  Why now?  I just want to do something different for me.  I've tried journaling in the past, but never stick to it but I think this will be a fun & creative outlet.  More to come...gotta get back to work.  Thanks for reading!